


Intrusive Love

by LolMouse



Series: Side Stories [3]
Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Colored Text, Emoticlones - Freeform, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Think Sexy Thoughts, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 01:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17694881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LolMouse/pseuds/LolMouse
Summary: Raven struggles with containing her emotions around her girlfriend.





	Intrusive Love

The intrusive thoughts were especially bothersome today.

_ Oh, I love her new shorter stockings. The gap between them and the hem of her dress makes me- _

Well, most of them. Some she allowed more than others, especially when it came to her sexy girlfriend who was busily preparing herself for their first ever Valentine's Day date.

Intrusive thoughts. It was a fairly new term to her. Jinx had been helping her do research, insisting that Raven's unique mental space might have some parallels among humans on Earth. It had been curiously difficult for her to accept; her pride would brook no such thing as a simple human problem being anything like her demonic ones. But her analytical side had won out, she'd forced herself to be humble, and she'd studied. And learned.

It had given her new a new perspective, and a curious sort of validation, to know that on some level a perfectly normal human might struggle with similar issues to her own. Things which she'd ascribed to her demonic nature - or been taught as being such - turned out to be fairly average things in the end. Certainly some of herself could reach extremes humans could not, such as the desire to revel in the empathic reverberations of your victim's pain as their soul is consumed, but other things that intruded on her thoughts were quite human.

Even though she still had little desire to indulge those peculiarities.

_ I want to smell her shoes and lick her feet. _

Speak of the devil. Raven felt herself begin to frown, and forced her expression to a neutral one. It would not do to let Jinx see her frowning while she was looking at her wonderful, shapely legs.

Sloth allowing her desires to be known had used to be a rare thing, since her lazy Aspect tended to revel in filth and sordidity in ways most humans could not comprehend. But the key phrase was "most." Much to Raven's initial shock and Jinx's deep amusement, some humans did enjoy some rather odd things. And the more she learned to not judge them for it, the more Sloth decided to make herself heard.

Just because she did not judge humans did not mean she didn't judge herself, though.

_ Enjoy yourself for once, damnit. Be a little selfish. It's not like Jinx isn't enough of a kinky little minx to agree to it. _

Raven closed her eyes and took a breath. Two breaths. The selfish nature of Rude had entered the fray in her mind. Multiple aspects all agreeing on some topic was always a dangerous path. And they tended to agree a lot when it came to Jinx. Not that this didn't make her a little happy. There was such a thing as caring about someone with all your heart.

_ You should kiss her to let her know that. _

She frowned. That last thought had felt very different from her regular Aspects. What was that? Who was that? Was there someone unfamiliar in her head?

"You okay there, Sunshine?"

Raven opened her eyes, finding Jinx looking at her face with concern.

"...I feel a little tired," she said. Keeping her emotions in check was hard when someone provoked so many of them.

"I noticed," said Jinx wryly, pointing to the desk. Much to Raven's disappointment, she saw the tell-tale signs of a shattered lightbulb, no doubt caused by her emotional turmoil. She'd been too distracted to even notice. "Let's postpone the date for now, then." Raven felt Jinx's slight disappointment reverberate empathically through her, but Jinx's concern and affection won out quickly. "Just take all the time you need, sweetheart. I know you need your space sometimes."

"...Alright," agreed Raven, allowing Jinx to kiss her forehead sweetly before she retreated to her own room.

  
  


 

Minutes later, Raven found herself pacing back and forth, unable to sit still.

"I hate this," she muttered, uncharacteristically allowing some of her Anger through. "I can't even be around her without losing control. I can't even be in the same room for a few minutes without all of me ruining it because I can't contain myself around her. And how is that fair? Why can't I just feel for her without ruining everything? And why does it have to be on a special day that we planned for?"

No one answered, of course.

"And that strange thought. Which one of you was that?" she asked herself. "Happy? Passion? It felt like you two."

_ Wasn't me, hoss!! _

_ Nor me, sugar. _

Happy and Passion had not been the source of her new intrusive urge. The difference was subtle, but palpable. It seemed there was a mystery in her head. A mystery that needed to be resolved.

She walked over to her desk and picked up her hand mirror, the portal to Nevermore, the dimension that was also her mind, and looked within. She felt a brief falling sensation, and found herself in a vast library.

"Knowledge. Are you here?"

"Already working on the problem," came a voice from within the stacks. Raven floated past the shelves, finally spotting the hint of yellow she sought.

Knowledge was hard at work looking over several books, examining their titles and depositing them on a rickety little book cart as required. She adjusted her glasses constantly and fidgeted in her yellow cloak, barely glancing at Raven as the sorceress came into her vision. "It's proving a more intricate mystery than I had anticipated," said Knowledge, not bothering with even a hello.

"How so?" said Raven, unperturbed by her Aspect's brusque tone.

"We never made a particular study of the Ritual of the Divided Soul, so all I have to go on is later observations we have made and some remnants from the Cult of Blood we've gleaned over the years. It's quite the obscure topic, for how much it affects our lives. And, for some reason, I keep thinking of Harry Potter." She glared at Raven, almost accusingly.

Raven shrugged. Fiction had been a new world of books to explore for her since leaving Azarath. Knowledge was less appreciative of what she'd termed 'useless information clutter.'

"Regardless," continued Knowledge, "I have assembled one plausible theory."

"Do tell."

Knowledge halted her work, pushing the cart of books along towards a central lectern, not bothering to check if Raven was following her. She assumed a reading position in front of it, floating cross-legged, and summoned several of the books to her, opening them at pre-selected points. "It's more to do with our nature than the ritual, as it happens. Imagine a human is a glass of water, and the water is the sum of their mind and soul and consciousness. The container - the body - is always equal to the task of containing a human mind. This is not the case with us, obviously. Since we exist in human form but have a soul whose appetites and moods are made for a much, shall we say, larger being, mystically speaking, we divide the water between multiple containers - that is, your Aspects."

Raven nodded. "To allow myself freedom from some of my baser demonic instincts and their emotional responses."

"Correct. But now your mind is facing an emotion which it hasn't had to deal with before."

Raven quirked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Knowledge glared at her, a little irritated. "Love, Raven. You're in love. And it's affecting all of us."

Raven smirked. "I fail to see the problem. Love is not a demonic emotion."

"But it is a human one. And what are the depths of love a human is capable of?"

Raven thought about it. "According to poetry, for one, it is supposedly infinite."

"Precisely. Indeed, mystically speaking, it is also correct. And as we are quickly learning, a Demon's capacity for love is not so vast, though surprisingly it does exist."

Raven's eyebrows rose. "...So we are, in a sense, facing the opposite problem now?"

"Quite so!" said Knowledge, pleased. "Rather than creating more human-shaped bodies to contain your demonic soul, your demonic body is now unable to contain the depths of the human soul. It's overloading the Aspects who aren't built to handle it. And your mind is coping in the only way it knows how."

Raven was shocked. "Are you saying there's a new Aspect?"

"Not quite. More like... an imaginary one. The shape of one. Not as solid as the rest of us, but still present in your mind. Like a Tulpa, in a way, loath as I am to use such a latecomer term. It springs into being because your mind is used to containing its emotions in this manner, and so creates one, from what I presume is the intersection between Passion and Happiness."

"But it has no physical manifestation?"

"Not yet. But you're not in the physical world now, now are you? I suggest seeking the newcomer out here in Nevermore, and deciding what to do from there."

"And what do I do with the rogue Aspect?"

"It's a massive risk, not created or bound by ritual and likely uncontainable by the methods used for us. I would recommend eliminating it."

Raven blanched. The logic of it was sound; she could not have her soul manifesting bodies outside her control. But if the Aspect was, as Knowledge had suggested, her Love...

"But I also recommend ignoring me," said Knowledge.

"...Excuse me?"

Knowledge took off her glasses, cleaning them with her cloak. "Raven, though I am loath to admit it, I am your Fear. I... fear, this newcomer. But we were also afraid of our feelings when you started dating Jinx, were we not?"

Raven nodded.

"And have we regretted it?"

"...Not for reasons relating to our emotions, no." Jinx could be... creatively aggravating.

Knowledge smiled slightly. "Then do with that knowledge as you will."

Raven nodded slowly, then turned away. "I'll see you later, then."

Knowledge did not bother saying goodbye as the library melted away around Raven, leaving her in the familiar island-dotted void that separated her and her Aspects. It was true; she did feel a little apprehensive. But it was a familiar kind of apprehension, the kind she'd felt when she'd first taken Jinx out on a date and formally asked her to be her girlfriend.

She concentrated on that memory and walked deeper into the void. The feelings from that day would act like her lodestone, guiding her to the newcomer in her mind. She remembered the clothes they'd worn, the food, the feeling of their lips touching, of playing together with their feet...

"Hello, Sunshine." The voice was beautiful and familiar and not her own, and Raven smiled. Everything made a lot more sense now.

"Hello, Love," she said, turning towards the source of the voice.

Sitting on an island just off the path was Jinx, or something that wore the shape of Jinx, slightly transparent and foggy at the edges. Even as Raven concentrated, the rogue Aspect took on a more solid form, as if she were being created right in front of her.

"Ooh, that feels nice. Do that again, sweetheart." Jinx - Love, Raven reminded herself - shivered and hugged herself as she solidified, her clothes and hair taking a bright and vibrant magenta color.

Raven smiled despite herself. The shape her Love had naturally taken was that of her lover, and she was always pleased to see Jinx in any form. She dully realized that she'd apparently decided to help the process of creating the Aspect along, without any hesitation or consideration. It had been the perfectly natural thing to do.

"I guess this means you're not going to kill me, huh?" Love hopped off her island to the path, flexing and experimenting with her more solid form. "Well, here I am. Wanna talk about it?"

"More than anything," Raven said. She spoke her mantra and the void swirled around them, creating a facsimile of a cafe, one she'd frequented several times with Jinx. She sat down, and two cups of tea appeared on the table. Love sat opposite her, looking at her fondly.

Raven noted some differences from Jinx as she observed the Aspect drinking the imaginary tea. Love's smile was more free and warmer, her eyes less teasing, her body language less wild and chaotic. She was also more patient, she noted. Love was waiting for Raven to initiate the dialogue.

"So," Raven started. "You are Love."

"Correctamundo."

Raven rolled her eyes slightly. Now that was a Jinx response if she'd ever heard one. "And will you serve the same function as my other Aspects?"

"If you mean whether I will help moderate your emotions so you can feel more strongly for Jinx without fear of losing control... yes, I will."

Raven sighed. "And what I will allow myself to feel will be..."

"...Less." Love nodded. "You're thinking like I'm Anger, or Sloth. That you'll have to ignore and temper me to keep everyone safe."

Raven nodded, feeling a sudden pang in her chest. The thought of deliberately restraining her love for Jinx, and what Jinx's reaction to that would be, hurt her. She saw Love wince and clutch her chest.

"Ow! Stop that! It hits me right in the feels!"

"...Sorry." Raven restrained her Fear, and the pain lessened.

Love breathed out heavily, recovering from the shock. "Look, I don't know a hundred percent how this will work, but... it's not going to be like that, okay?"

"How will it not, Love? My emotions, even the human ones, are dangerous. And I never want to put her in danger."

"And that's what I'm for," said Love. "I'm your infinite human capacity for love. Not your demonic capacity for hate. I'm a safety valve, not a lid."

Raven looked at her. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Do the math, Raven. Sure, you'll feel a fraction of what you can. But what is a fraction of infinity?"

Raven's eyes widened. "...Still infinity."

Love nodded, smiling warmly at Raven. "Trust me, what you'll feel will still be so intense it makes you weak in the knees. What it won't do is bring the world to its knees. I'll moderate what the other Aspects feel for Jinx for you, and I'll always do my best to make sure no one is hurt, if you'll let me. If... you'll trust me."

Raven felt the same anxiety she'd felt on that very dirst date, as if she were back in those first weeks when she'd shared her vulnerable sides to Jinx. It was as if she were doing it all over again. There were a thousand unanswered questions. Would this strange Aspect, not created or bound by ritual, really function like that? Would she keep her promise? Was she capable of what she was implying? Could Raven truly extend her trust in Love?

But just as it had been back then, she knew there was only one way to answer those questions.

"I will trust you... Love."

Love solidified completely at last, and smiled. She stood up and walked over to Raven, caressing her cheek. "Then if I may make a suggestion..."

  
  


 

Jinx was startled as Raven entered her room through a pool of shadow and got up from her bed.

"Whoah there, Sunshine. Weren't you going off to meditate?"

Jinx looked Raven in the eye, and whatever it was the pink witch saw there shut her up. Raven advanced on her, slowly and deliberately, and Jinx stood still as if transfixed.

Raven leaned in and kissed Jinx, then held her close, enveloping the other girl in her cloak as Jinx surrendered to her touch, then to the tongue at her lips. They parted again, leaving Jinx panting and looking at Raven in wonder.

Raven leaned in again and kissed Jinx's forehead. "I'm feeling better now."

"I'll say," breathed Jinx, a little dumbfounded but smiling shyly. "And nothing seems to have broken this time."

Raven looked Jinx in the eye again, and she held Jinx up as she empathically felt how her gaze made the witch's legs feel weaker. Her own head felt clear of intrusive thoughts, even as she felt her emotion for her overtake her like she'd never felt before, never dared to allow before. She could feel all of herself agreeing, and was unafraid.

"Whoah," breathed Jinx. "Your eyes are... intense. What happened in the last hour?"

"Just my Love for you," said Raven as she kissed Jinx again.


End file.
